Dear Goal-Oriented Me: When I Finally Follow Through

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Have you ever set a huge goal and actually achieved it?

And then immediately wanted to give everybody and everything else the credit?

Even though you were the one who did it?

Today could not have gone any better.

The Day Started Simple

I got up.

Got dressed.

Took my kid to school.

We got to talk a little.

Grabbed drinks.

Then I went to work.

Work was fun today.

I enjoyed hanging out with my client.

He was in the best mood.

Then I got off work and came home.

And I realized I had some time to kill before I had to go pick my kid up from school.

So I had a choice.

I Could Have Taken a Nap

And honestly?

Why not?

That would have been the easy thing to do.

But instead, I sat down to work.

And I had an idea.

The journals I published were in paperback.

But I knew I wanted paperback and hardback.

So I thought:

Let me see if I can get those done.

And I sat down.

Then I Finished Before I Left

Before I ever had to leave to pick up my kid?

I was done.

Because apparently I cannot just do something simple.

I had four different colorways I wanted.

Then I saw a fifth one.

And of course I thought:

I want that one too.

So now?

I have five journals.

Five Colorways, Paperback and Hardback

Five.

Different colorways.

Paperback.

Hardback.

All this week.

My original goal was just to get one up.

One.

And I was nervous about that.

Because I am a perfectionist.

I did not think it was going to work.

There were moments when the system frustrated me.

There were moments when I wanted to get irritated and stop.

But I kept going.

And I did it.

I actually did it.

My Journals Are Live

They are on Amazon.

They are live.

They are officially going to become part of the show.

And I am excited.

Really excited.

Because I have always been somebody with big dreams.

I have always talked about all the things I want to do.

All the things I want to accomplish.

But actually moving forward with those ideas?

That has always been different.

I Usually Get Stuck

I get excited.

I have an idea.

I throw myself into it.

Then eventually?

I plateau.

I get bored.

I lose interest.

I decide I am done.

That is just how my brain works.

But this time feels different.

I Have Been Doing Dear Journal Since June

And now we are in the middle of August.

I am still enjoying it.

It helped me create the journals.

It is helping me write a book about trauma.

And it is helping me write a fiction book.

I am doing so many things I never actually thought I would do.

That feels different.

Setting Goals Has Never Been the Hard Part

I am good at saying:

I want to try this.

That sounds interesting.

I want to do that.

I have always been good at goals.

But actually watching myself achieve one?

That feels amazing.

A little scary.

But amazing.

I Have Always Been a Girl With Big Dreams

When I was younger, I told myself I was going to be three things.

A teacher.

A wife.

A mother.

Those things mattered to me.

And today I was thinking about that.

I sit here doing a podcast where I talk about feelings.

Trauma.

How things from yesterday affect us today.

That is kind of like teaching.

I Did Become a Wife

My ring is not on today because my hand hurts.

But I am married.

So that one happened.

And then tonight?

I had the best family night with my kid.

Chinese food.

Movies.

Laughing.

Joking.

Playing around.

It was just good.

I Did Not Rush Through It

I knew I still needed to record my podcast.

I knew I had things to do.

But I did not sit there thinking:

Oh my gosh.

I have to hurry.

I need to get done.

I need to get to my office.

I knew that when family time was over, I would come here.

Sit down.

And talk to you guys.

But I did not feel like I needed to cut the moment short.

Usually My Brain Would Ruin That

Before, I would ruminate.

I would sit there mentally calculating.

How am I going to fit this in?

When am I going to do that?

What if I do not get everything done?

But this week?

I have just enjoyed my week.

Not everything was easy.

There were unpleasant moments.

But I survived them.

I made it to another day.

I wrote another page in my story.

These Conversations Have Helped Me

Probably more than you guys will ever know.

I have spent a lot of time wondering:

How do I get better?

How do I improve my mental health?

I did therapy for years.

And I would never knock therapy.

I enjoyed it.

There are times I still miss it.

There is something about saying exactly how you feel and finally getting clarity that is hard to explain.

When Therapy Ended, I Was Angry

When things ended with my therapist, I thought:

I am never going back.

And I knew even then that some of that was hurt talking.

I was upset.

Angry.

Like:

How dare she take me off her books?

But now?

I am not as emotional about it.

Not as angry.

And I think I am ready.

I Am Ready for a Lot of Things

Therapy is on the list.

Finishing my writing is on the list.

Going back to school is on the list.

There are a lot of things I want to do.

But I also know I cannot do all of them at once.

If I pile everything on at the same time?

I am going to burn myself out.

Goals Need Realistic Time

That has been a big lesson for me.

I can have big goals.

I can have a lot of goals.

But I need to give myself realistic time to achieve them.

This week?

The goal was to get books listed.

Done.

The goal was to cook meals and eat together.

Done.

The goal was to go to work and be there for my kid.

Done.

I Set the Week Up First

At the beginning of the week, I sat down and decided what I wanted to accomplish.

Then by the end of the week?

I had done it.

And I learned something important about myself.

I am not a day-to-day planner person.

As much as I love planners.

And I do love them.

I do not keep up with them for long.

Weekly Goals Work Better for Me

Sunday worked.

I sat down and said:

These are the things I would like to accomplish this week.

Not:

This has to happen Monday.

That has to happen Tuesday.

This has to happen at exactly 3:15.

Just:

I would like these things done.

That gave me room.

I Gave Myself Grace

If something had to be moved?

It could be moved.

If I had to push something back?

That was okay.

Nothing was do or die.

Nothing felt like:

If you do not finish this, everything is ruined.

And because I gave myself that grace?

I actually got it done.

That is the wild part.

I Met My Goals Without Making Myself Miserable

It really was that simple this week.

Set the goals.

Leave room.

Do the work.

Move things when needed.

Finish them.

And it is so weird for me to say that out loud.

Because I have a hard time believing things can work out for me.

Maybe Nobody Buys a Journal

That is possible.

I might not sell one copy.

But I put them out there.

I did it.

I proved myself wrong.

I actually did it.

And I am unbelievably happy about that.

I Get to Go to Bed Knowing I Accomplished Something

I do not know what is going to happen with any of it.

But tonight?

It feels good.

It feels good knowing I can go to bed having accomplished something I wanted to accomplish.

That matters.

This Weekend, I Will Make Another Plan

Apparently Saturday is football.

Something about my husband's team playing.

Sunday, I am supposed to go shopping with the family.

Walk around.

Get lunch.

Spend time together.

And then?

I will set another goal for the week.

Something to accomplish.

Something for me.

The Journals Were for Me Too

Yes, I want people to buy them.

Obviously.

But the journals were also for me.

They were proof.

Proof that I could say:

You have the ability to do this.

Now watch yourself do it.

That was important.

I Want to Go Through Them With You

I like the idea of doing the journal together.

Talking through the questions.

Taking them one day at a time.

As much as that is for you?

It is for me too.

I said yesterday that I am not going to ask my kids to do something I am not willing to do myself.

Same thing here.

I Know the Questions Are Not Always Easy

Some of them are going to be uncomfortable.

Some are not going to be fun.

I already know that.

But I also know something about myself now.

Some things are easier for me when I am not doing them alone.

I Like Doing This Together

It is easier as a group.

There is accountability.

Support.

Conversation.

And I am learning so much about what works for me.

What helps me.

What keeps me moving.

It has been an interesting journey since June.

This Time I Have Not Wanted to Quit

That is one of the biggest things.

I have not had the urge to say:

Nope.

I am done.

I do not want to do this tonight.

I am tired of this.

This feels like me.

It feels like something I needed.

Not just something I wanted.

And I think that makes a huge difference.

I Needed to Feel Like I Could Be Calm in the Storm

I needed to get things in order mentally.

I needed to feel like I had some things together.

I needed to believe I could be calm even when life was not calm.

And honestly?

I was worried that was never going to happen.

But it is.

It is actually happening.

Set Goals

They do not have to be huge.

They do not have to matter to everybody else.

They just have to matter to you.

Sometimes my goal is:

Get out of bed.

Get to work on time.

And if I do?

Starbucks.

Sometimes the Reward Is Small

Sometimes I tell myself:

If you sit down and do the work you need to do, you can scroll on your phone longer.

Maybe you do not have to go to bed at a certain time.

Goals and rewards.

They work wonders for me.

Apparently.

I Am Still Learning Why This Helps My Mental Health

I do not fully understand it.

I do not know why it has made things feel easier.

But I know it has.

My goal is to work with my mental health every day.

And every day I show up here.

I write in my journal.

I sit down.

And I talk to you about it.

I Appreciate You Being Here

I really do.

I appreciate you listening.

Supporting.

Understanding without judgment.

That means a lot.

And someday?

I hope you will let me do the same for you.

Listen.

Cheer you on.

Support you.

Help you get the clarity you want.

Help you set goals.

Help you reach them.

Because you want to.

Because you deserve to.

My Bite of Pie

My bite of pie today was enjoying my family.

Laughing.

Joking.

Playing with my dog.

Just being there.

And the reason that mattered so much?

Because it felt relaxed.

Peaceful.

Calming.

Like home.

It feels really good to feel like I am at home.

And sometimes I think that feeling has less to do with the building.

More to do with what I create inside myself.

Today?

I felt at home.

I hope you feel at home too.

I hope you have some peace.

I hope you have someone you can talk to.

Someone you can trust.

Someone who hears you even when you are not being loud about it.

Someone who is there.

Today is another page in the story.

It does not have to be perfect.

It just has to be written.

Before you close your journal tonight, ask yourself:

What was your bite of pie today?

Until tomorrow,

Love you loud.