When Your Body Says It Is Time to Stop

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Have you ever experienced emotional stress turning into physical exhaustion?

Not the kind of tired where you stayed up too late or had a long day. I mean the kind of tired where your body feels heavy, your mind feels cloudy, and even the smallest task feels like somebody asked you to climb a mountain.

That was me today.

I woke up, and something just felt off. I could not muster up the energy to do much of anything, so I stayed in bed and played on my phone until I eventually fell back asleep.

When I woke up again, it was almost eleven o’clock.

Even then, my normal routine felt impossible.

I remember telling my husband that I did not want to get up and take a shower.

He asked me why.

I told him the truth.

“I just don’t feel like it.”

I have been trying to break some of my routines lately, but he reminded me that not every routine is bad. Some routines help us take care of ourselves. So I got up, took a shower, and wandered into the living room.

I made the easiest breakfast I could think of: a bowl of cereal.

Then I sat on the couch and crashed.

And by crashed, I mean I laid there and did not want to move.

My husband came in and asked whether I had eaten. I told him I had eaten a bowl of cereal. He said he was just checking on me and continued with his morning.

I was awake. I had moved from the bedroom to the couch. Technically, I was making progress.

It had only taken me about two hours.

When Everything Feels Like a Chore

I was talking to a friend, and she suggested that maybe I needed some protein and water.

I laughed at the water suggestion because I do not like water. I regularly tell people I am allergic to it.

I am not actually allergic to water. I just do not want to drink it.

But protein sounded like a good idea, so I decided to make some hard-boiled eggs and coffee.

The problem was that making eggs meant I had to get off the couch and walk into the kitchen.

My kitchen is not far from my couch. It was not an unreasonable journey. But when you are in the headspace where nothing feels easy, everything becomes a chore.

My husband helped me get up, and I went into the kitchen and put my eggs on.

Then I went right back to the couch.

I intentionally left my coffee in the kitchen. I knew that if the coffee was beside me, I might not have enough motivation to go back when the eggs were ready.

Sometimes you have to know yourself well enough to trick yourself.

When the timer went off, I got up, grabbed my eggs, covered them in salt and a ridiculous amount of pepper, picked up my coffee, and returned to the couch.

That was another small victory.

Sometimes Connection Gives Us Energy

While I was eating, my friend pointed out how much pepper I had put on my eggs.

I told her it reminded me of my grandmother. I do not even know whether the memory is completely accurate, but whenever I use a lot of pepper, I picture my grandmother putting an excessive amount of it on her french fries.

Somehow that conversation turned into a discussion about California.

My friend called me Midwestern, and I immediately told her to take it back.

There is nothing wrong with being Midwestern. Embrace it if that is who you are.

But I am a Californian.

More specifically, I am from the Bay Area.

We do not always talk about where we are from by naming the cities. We talk about area codes.

I am from the 408. I lived in the 925. I spent time in the 510.

And yes, I say “hella.”

It is hella cold.

That is hella funny.

I am hella Californian.

Before I knew it, I was talking about growing up in San Jose, moving during high school, the neighborhoods I lived in, the schools I attended, and the places that still feel like home.

I talked about malls, rolling backpacks, Taco Bell, Oakland, Richmond, and the cement slide at Brigadoon Park.

The memories just kept coming.

My friend pointed out that it was the first time she had seen memories roll out of me so naturally. She said the way I talked about California made it obvious that California would always be home.

She was right.

There are days when I dream about moving back. Then I remember that I am not rich and cannot afford the house I would want.

But it is still home.

And for a little while, sitting in those memories made me smile.

That mattered.

It reminded me that being emotionally aware is not only about identifying sadness, stress, or pain. It is also about recognizing the things that make you light up.

I Had Been Putting Myself Last

Recently, I have been working through some emotional turmoil.

I have been trying to balance the things I want with the things I need.

That has not been easy.

I think that is why I felt so checked out. I had spent months keeping myself busy so that I would not have to fully process what I was feeling.

Focus.

Work.

Get this done.

Handle that responsibility.

Complete the next task.

Keep moving.

I am very good at avoiding my emotions by staying productive.

The problem is that taking care of myself is also one of my responsibilities, and I had placed it at the very bottom of the list.

At some point, my body decided that being last on my list did not mean it had to remain last.

My body made me stop.

I became so overwhelmed that I started feeling physically queasy. I took my work into the bedroom because I thought I could continue working from bed.

I laid down.

And I was out.

The emotional exhaustion had become physical exhaustion.

Why Do We Ignore Emotional Exhaustion?

When we feel sick, we take medicine.

When we feel nauseous, we go to the bathroom.

When we are physically injured, we usually understand that something needs attention.

But when we are mentally drained or emotionally exhausted, we often keep pushing.

We act as though emotional pain does not deserve the same care as physical pain.

We tell ourselves we can deal with it later.

We convince ourselves that we are being responsible by continuing to work.

Then our bodies step in and remind us that we are not machines.

My body told me, “You are going to take care of yourself.”

I did not have much of a choice.

How many times do we have to reach that point before we learn to stop earlier?

How many times does our body have to force us to rest before we give ourselves permission to rest voluntarily?

I Cannot Be Superwoman Every Day

Sometimes life catches up with you.

You know you are tired. You know you are overwhelmed. You know something eventually has to give.

But you keep going anyway.

I have a habit of believing I can be Superwoman. I tell myself I can complete everything, carry everyone, handle every responsibility, and worry about my emotional state later.

The problem is that when I finally fall, I fall hard.

I know this about myself.

I also know there is a good chance I will try to do it again.

That is part of why emotional awareness matters.

It is not about suddenly becoming perfect at caring for yourself. It is about recognizing your patterns a little earlier each time.

Maybe next time I will notice the signs before I feel sick.

Maybe next time I will rest before my body demands it.

Maybe.

Life Does Not Have to Be Perfect Before You Show Up

I had told myself that I would record a video podcast today.

The problem was that my office was not clean.

I did not like the background. I did not like the clutter. I kept telling myself I should clean before I recorded.

Then I had to remind myself of the entire purpose of my brand.

Unperfectly Perfect.

Unperfect is not technically a word. The correct word is imperfect.

But I chose unperfect because I believe our imperfections are part of what makes us perfect.

My office did not have to be perfect for me to sit down and talk.

My life did not have to be perfect for me to show up.

I did not have to feel completely healed, organized, energized, or put together before my voice had value.

My imperfections make me the caring, loving, helpful, independent, dependable, and strong person I am.

They give me my superpower.

What do your imperfections give you?

What have you learned because of them?

How have they shaped the person you are becoming?

My Bite of Pie

My bite of pie today was not completing a huge project.

It was not cleaning my office.

It was not checking everything off my list.

My bite of pie was getting out of bed.

It was eating.

It was taking a shower.

It was recognizing that my body needed me to slow down and actually listening.

I did not argue with myself.

I did not force myself to push through.

I laid down and took the nap I needed.

Because I rested, I had enough energy to get back up and record.

Had I continued ignoring my body, I probably would have felt worse.

Rest did not ruin my day.

Rest allowed me to continue it.

Give Yourself Permission to Put It Down

Not everything has to be carried at the same time.

Sometimes we become so focused on solving every problem that we forget we are allowed to put something down for a moment.

You can pick it back up later.

Taking a break does not mean the problem disappeared.

It does not mean you are irresponsible.

It does not mean you are weak.

It means you recognized your capacity.

So tonight, take a moment for yourself.

I know that is not always easy. We have children, relationships, jobs, homes, bills, deadlines, and responsibilities.

Maybe you cannot take the entire day off.

Maybe you cannot take a three-hour nap.

But perhaps you can find five minutes.

Sit somewhere quiet.

Take a deep breath.

Drink some water, even though I personally remain suspicious of it.

Eat something.

Close your eyes.

Let yourself feel whatever you have been avoiding.

You do not have to solve everything tonight.

Sometimes acknowledging the weight is more important than immediately trying to remove it.

Today is another page in your story.

It does not have to be perfect.

It just has to be written.

Before you close your journal tonight, ask yourself:

What was your bite of pie?

Until next time, love yourself loud.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I know when I am emotionally exhausted?

Emotional exhaustion may look like feeling unmotivated, overwhelmed, irritable, disconnected, or unable to complete tasks that usually feel manageable. You may also notice physical symptoms such as tiredness, headaches, nausea, or wanting to sleep more than usual.

Does resting mean I am being lazy?

No. Rest and avoidance are not always the same thing. Rest gives your mind and body an opportunity to recover. Sometimes taking a pause is what allows you to return to your responsibilities with more energy and clarity.

What can I do when even small tasks feel difficult?

Break the task into the smallest possible step. Your first step may simply be sitting up, walking into another room, eating something easy, or placing an item where you must get up to retrieve it later. Progress does not have to look impressive to count.

How can I become more aware of my body’s signals?

Start noticing changes in your energy, sleep, appetite, mood, concentration, and physical comfort. Instead of immediately judging yourself, ask, “What might my body be trying to tell me?”

What if I do not have much time to rest?

Rest does not always have to mean taking an entire day off. Five quiet minutes, a short walk, a meal, a shower, a few deep breaths, or sitting somewhere alone can create a small moment of relief. Take the bite of pie that is available to you.