Dear Intrigued Me: What Happens When You Give Yourself a Chance?

Listen to the Episode

Prefer listening? Hear the full Dear Journal conversation here.

Do you ever stop and think about how often you question yourself?

We make countless choices every day, but how many of those choices do we immediately doubt?

I question what I wear and how I look in it. I question what I eat and how it may affect my weight. I question what I say and how the people around me may respond. Sometimes, I even question the simplest things—things I already know how to do.

Apparently, I can even doubt my ability to write the letter D.

That may sound ridiculous, but it made me realize just how naturally self-doubt shows up in my life. It does not always arrive as one big, obvious insecurity. Sometimes it slips into the smallest decisions until I am questioning everything.

When Curiosity Becomes Motivation

Today did not go according to plan.

I got out of bed later than I intended. I showered, ordered groceries, fed my dogs, enjoyed Taco Tuesday, folded laundry, and helped my husband with some things he needed to handle.

Eventually, I made my way into my office with every intention of getting work done.

Instead, I remembered the microphone I bought last month.

It had been sitting in the box, quietly taunting me. I had been afraid that it would be difficult to assemble, that it might not work, or that it would not be worth the money I spent on it.

Since the return date was approaching, I finally opened the box.

And suddenly, I was intrigued.

There were pieces everywhere, and I was excited to figure out how they worked. I confidently decided that I did not need the instructions.

I needed the instructions.

As it turns out, just because two pieces fit together does not mean they belong together.

Still, I kept going. I spent far longer than I probably needed to because I was stubborn, curious, and determined to make it work.

Eventually, I did.

That experience reminded me of something important about myself: when something truly interests me, I come alive.

I may not have a detailed plan. I may not know where the idea will lead. But curiosity gives me enough energy to begin.

How Quickly Do You Talk Yourself Out of Things?

The problem is that the excitement is often followed by questions.

Why did you do it that way?

What made you think that was a good idea?

Who told you that you could do this?

Is this actually going to work?

Sometimes questioning ourselves is necessary. It can help us make thoughtful decisions and avoid rushing into something without considering the consequences.

But there is a difference between thinking something through and talking yourself out of trying.

How many times have you felt excited about something, only to immediately begin listing all the reasons it will not work?

We do not always give our ideas a fair chance. We decide they will fail before they ever have an opportunity to grow.

What would happen if we held on to our curiosity a little longer?

What if we allowed ourselves to explore something simply because it interested us?

Being Seen Requires Vulnerability

I considered recording a video with tonight’s podcast.

I think it could be interesting for people to see how my face changes while I process my thoughts, how much I talk with my hands, and how naturally my emotions show up while I speak.

Then my insecurities stepped in.

I started thinking about my appearance. I told myself I looked like a hot mess. Almost immediately, I found a reason not to do the video.

I recognized a pattern.

When something good is happening, I sometimes search for a flaw so I can punish myself with it.

I did not record the video tonight, but I also did not completely abandon the idea. I decided that I would clean my office and create a space where I feel more comfortable showing up.

Then I will try.

Because if I am asking people to trust me, connect with me, and allow me to support them, I cannot spend all my time hiding.

Vulnerability does not mean that every insecurity suddenly disappears. Sometimes it simply means deciding that your insecurity does not get to make every decision.

Maybe I Am Not Crazy—Maybe I Am Finding Myself

Over the past month, I have laughed and smiled more than I have in a while.

I have strengthened relationships. I have explored new ideas. Most importantly, I have been strengthening my relationship with myself.

Sitting alone and speaking into a microphone once felt strange. Now it has become a way for me to process what I am thinking and feeling.

I have shown up for these journal entries for almost a month.

I created a journal that I am preparing to share with other people.

I have been honest with myself and with those who listen.

Bravo to me.

I do not give myself enough credit for those things.

Whenever I do something differently, I have a habit of calling it crazy. But maybe I am not being crazy.

Maybe I am coming into my own.

Maybe I am learning what excites me.

Maybe I am finally giving myself room to discover who I am becoming.

Give Yourself the Benefit of the Doubt

We often hear the phrase “benefit of the doubt” when discussing how we should treat someone else.

But how often do we extend that same grace to ourselves?

Instead of immediately assuming that your idea is foolish, what if you allowed yourself to explore it?

Instead of deciding that you will fail, what if you gave yourself an opportunity to learn?

Instead of searching for the flaw in every good moment, what if you simply allowed yourself to enjoy it?

You may still have questions. I know I will.

But perhaps the goal is not to stop questioning ourselves completely.

Perhaps the goal is to ask better questions.

Instead of asking, “Why would I think I could do that?” try asking, “What might happen if I give myself a chance?”

Instead of asking, “What if I fail?” try asking, “What could I learn by trying?”

Instead of asking, “Who am I to do this?” try asking, “Why not me?”

What Was Your Bite of Pie Today?

My bite of pie began with getting out of bed.

That one action led to feeding my dogs, taking care of things around my home, helping my husband, setting up my new microphone, and recording another episode.

Your bite of pie does not have to be huge.

Maybe you attended a meeting.

Maybe you answered an email you had been avoiding.

Maybe you took a shower.

Maybe you rested because your body needed it.

Maybe you got out of bed even though you did not want to.

Give yourself credit for it.

Today is another page in the story. It does not have to be perfect. It just has to be written.

Before you close your journal tonight, ask yourself:

What was my bite of pie today?

Until tomorrow, love you loud.